Recognizing the signs of abuse is vital to helping someone in an abusive relationship. According to the Center for Disease Control, about 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have reported abuse by an intimate partner in their lifetime. The signs are not always apparent from the outside. If you think someone is in an abusive relationship, you may want to help but feel scared, or it is not your place to intervene. These are all normal feelings to have in such a situation. But there are steps you can take to help someone in an abusive relationship.
1. Listen
Try to start a conversation in a private place with a positive note. Only broach the subject when you are calm and comfortable. Listen without judgment, reinforce that you are there for support. Be mindful that victims may blame themselves for the abuse and may be afraid of leaving the situation.
2. Offer support
Offer support by providing resources. Avoid making a judgment as to the reason for remaining in the relationship.
3. Be mindful of tone
Keep your tone during the conversation friendly, without preaching. It may also help if you share any challenges you have had in a relationship.
Remember, the focus is to be a friend without judgment. Whether a person leaves an abusive relationship or not is their decision and not yours. Relationships are complex with varying layers, especially an unhealthy, abusive one. Thus, as a friend, reinforce that you will be supportive regardless of their decision. However, the expectation is if the person is in imminent or immediate danger, then the authorities should be contacted immediately.
If this is an emergency, don’t hesitate to contact your local authorities.
-umw
