You hear about it all the time. Victims are told that they could have done something different to prevent themselves from being victimized by their assailants. They are at fault rather than the criminal who committed the crime. Victims of sexual assault endured people saying they should have been dressed more modestly. Victims of muggings hear that they should not have been out so late at night. Victims of intimate partner violence are told that if they had just left the relationship in the first place, they would not be a victim today. Why do we always place responsibility for the crime on the victims, as though their trauma is their fault? What psychological effect does this phenomenon have on the victim?
What is Victim Shaming?
Victim shaming is a phenomenon in which a person who has survived a crime or traumatic event is judged and told that the perpetrator would not have been provoked to commit the crime if they had done certain things differently. Rather than placing the blame of the crime or traumatic event on the perpetrator, victims are told that they could have prevented it by doing something different. Victim shaming occurs when survivors of violent crimes such as intimate partner violence, sexual assault, or other offense are judged after coming forward and reporting the crime. This is a phenomenon in which people make assumptions about what the victim did, did not do, said, or wore to provoke the criminal to victimize them. Victim shaming is not always as apparent as saying, “This was your fault.” There are many ways one can blame the victim, sometimes without even realizing they are doing so. A few examples of victim shaming include:
- “Well, did you lead him on?”
- “Did you fight it?”
- “Why didn’t you talk about it sooner?”
- “Were you drinking?”
- “Why were you out so late?”
These questions may innocently slip out of people’s mouths with little to no thought, but they have a much more significant impact on the victim than the person could ever realize. Being questioned about how you could have prevented your trauma is damaging and hurtful. The worst part is, it is often close friends and family who ask these painful questions, seeping judgment rather than support.
The Effects of Victim Shaming on the Victim
When victims are ready to come forward and talk about the trauma they have survived, they are in a vulnerable position. Victim shaming will create a barrier of anti-trust within the victim. It will lead to them refusing to open up more about the trauma they have endured from fear of facing backlash and judgment.
Why Does Victim Shaming Occur?
Victim shaming can be from anyone, not just people who are looking to hurt the victim. Often, victim shaming people do so to convince themselves that a crime like that would never happen to them. People want to convince themselves that bad things do not occur as long as they take the necessary precautions or believe that the world is a fair place for everyone. Such thinking feeds into negative thoughts pattern of thinking the worst can happen to anyone, including our friends, family, and yes, even ourselves, ultimately leading to living life in constant fear.
Victim shaming can be seen as a defense mechanism for people who do not want to believe that they could ever be victims. These people will look for any reason for the event happening and search for any way the victim could have gotten themselves out of it. The thing is, though, while victim-blaming may make the blamer feel better, it is incredibly detrimental to the victim who needs support. Bad things can happen to anybody. Rather than victim shaming, make the conscious effort to give the victim your support.
-umw
